Are You 'Avin A Laugh???

So after waiting for internet for ages my pc has decided to break.

I want one of these;

My aim is to save and get one within the year. I'm thinking the bike may have to be given another dusting down....

Forget Aussie Party Guy

This is the best youtube vid you will ever see. Phil Collins Vs. The Ultimate Warrior. I love how Phil still manages to mime along whilst on the receiving end of a pummeling.

Another thing I noticed that slipped under by radar before. Ultimate Warrior, surely the creator of New Rave??? He was rocking day-glo back when Klaxons were still trying to grow pubes. If you interested in finding more about the Warrior then check out this site

http://http//www.ultimatewarrior.com/

It's home to some great info about the Warrior. Here's a choice quote;
"I am also NOT confused about my gender. I have no desire to tone down the nature of the sex I am. I am a male and am proud to be a man. I will often forcefully punctuate my points and positions on ideas and issues with manly language. I make no apologies".

So just in case you were wondering, Ultimate Warrior IS DEFINITELY NOT A WOMAN. But when you go round looking like this then I guess it's easy to see why people would get confused.

Interestingly Warrior, as he is legally known these days, is now a motivational speaker. He is also available on email mrwarrior@ultimatewarrior.com . I was gonna email him but I'm a bit scared.

Sources of humour in unlikely places....

For some reason the Spam email's I get in work are sent from the funniest names. Here's a selection of some recent classics;

Garth Vlad
Woodrow Moody
Kleon Chance
Berti Friends
Buck Jimmy
Denver Dexter
Etan Venkatar
Wendi Begay (This weeks clear winner)
Fannie Post
Barrett Hind
Petra McCord
Kingsley Caesar

Are these emails being sent by comedy geniuses? Sat at their laptops blitzing us with classic combinations. "These emails may contain links to crippling viruses, but at least those unfortunate people will have a laugh".

The sad thing I've realised whilst typing these words is that it's 98% likely that these names are chosen at random by a software program. Maybe even the same program that Eiffel 65 (composer's of the Europop classic "Blue") used to create their band name.

Guess who I hate???

OOOOOOH Virgin Media have seriously pissed me off. You might not be aware of the full story so let me bring you up to speed.

I called Virgin and agreed to their fairly reasonable broadband rates. An original installation date of February 2nd was agreed. It was a Saturday so I didn’t have to take time off work. Nice onE guys. 2nd of Feb rolls around and it turns out I cant get the internet in my flat due to what I deem "wire issues". Fair enough. The handy Virgin Media rep said he would contact his manager, Stuart, who would then call me back. I waited.

I didn’t receive a call from the elusive Stuart (more about him later). I then called Virgin support and spoke to a helpful chap who told me I could have internet installed in a few weeks, after some necessary "preparatory work" took place outside my house on Thursday 28th Feb. I would then get my service installed the next day. I would need to take a day off work, but it was a Friday and a long weekend seemed like a nice idea.

Receive a text on 26th of Feb confirming that Mr. Virgin man will come to my house between 08:00-13:00 on the 28th.

Then

13:04, 28th Feb '08 - No-one arrives. Call them and they say someone will be there between 13:00-18:00 pm.

LONG WAIT.....

18:05, 28th Feb ' 08 - No-one arrives. Another call to Virgin.

Apparently work needs to be done outside my house, work that I was told would be done before Friday 28th Feb. I should have been called about this, turns out I wasn’t. The elusive Stuart again didn't do much to help.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO They reckon it's gonna happen on Saturday. This Saturday. I don’t actually care anymore.

Whenever I read shit like this before I always laughed. I guess it's like having crabs, extremely funny unless it happens to you. I would like to use this moment to point out I've never had crabs or any other sexually transmitted infection.
Richard Branson needs to spend less time getting his balls trapped when abseiling and actually sort out his shitty Internet provider service.....

Peace x